Autistically Scott

Today is Autistic Pride Day. This is a day that was first held back in 2005 by Autistic people. Gwen Nelson, who invented Autistic Pride Day, is also trans, which Autistic people are more likely to identify as. It is a day that was founded to combat stigma and reframe the pathologising narrative in society, showing the world that we are not in need of a cure.

The word ‘pride’ is not usually associated with being Autistic as our experiences are still largely deemed as ‘disordered’. Many people only receive an assessment when they are in crisis, as the diagnostic manuals are based on clinicians observing people who were displaying distress from unmet needs. However, there is so much more to being Autistic that is not captured within those initial observations in the 1940’s, and there are many things which society likely does not yet know are characteristics of being Autistic.

To be Autistic means we embody a way of being that informs how we communicate, move, think, love, and feel. Days like this offer us the chance to acknowledge our own inherent value and the things we appreciate about ourselves and our fellow neurokin. As Autistics, we relish in spending large amounts of time on our passions and dedicated interests. Our Autistic joy provides us with deep euphoria through our stims, sensory experiences and interests. Our minds may be able to spot patterns with strong attention to detail. We can be very honest and loyal, imparting us a high level of integrity that makes us reliable. We can express so much empathy that it can be painful, while simultaneously feeling an immense sense of justice at any wrongdoing or ill-treatment of other people. This lights a fire within us to do everything in our power to right the injustices we encounter.

Being proud to be Autistic is not about ignoring any challenges as we are disabled through living in a world that is not designed for us. It is not about denying the trauma and discrimination that Autistics are susceptible to. Furthermore, due to our innate sensory needs, we will likely always be disabled in some way, regardless of how many adjustments we receive and how much more inclusive this world becomes, but there is still plenty to be proud of and love about ourselves.

To be proud of your Autistic self does not require you to have extraordinary abilities. I do not possess any savant talent but I know I have skills in certain areas. I know my values (i.e. connection collaboration, compassion) are extremely important to me, so much so that I feel I am one with my values. These drive everything I do, and I believe my values are so strongly embedded within me because I am Autistic. I know I can feel things on an intense and deep level that it brings me joy with relationships and my interests. I love being able to hyperfocus on my passions & examine specific details. I delight in eating my same foods and anticipate these every week as I buy and cook them. I also cherish being able to rewatch my comfort shows and movies without getting bored. There are many facets to being Autistic that we can be grateful for.

One of the most important aspects of being Autistic is our connection to the Autistic community. For years I felt isolated and alone, and while I do still experience these feelings, I have found solace in the knowing that my people are out there. I have made strides to connect more to Autistic people, sharing knowledge and experiences together with my Autistic friends and colleagues. The Autistic community has massively enriched my life and helped me to develop my sense of self that I wish I was able to discover this much earlier in my life. I hope in the future we will reach at a stage where groups and resources are readily available for young Autistic people to access. This would provide them their right to understand who they are and instil a sense of pride from a young age, as well as promote a kind and inclusive culture among their peers.

It is also worth acknowledging that due to the harmful narratives in society, the stigma and way we are treated, that there are people who do not feel proud to be Autistic. This is completely valid and pride is not something we want to force Autistic people to feel or celebrate. They may have internalised deep shame as a result of what they experienced or the deficit-focused information they were exposed to, and I include myself with this. Even a few years ago, I did not see being Autistic as something that shaped and defined me. I made an effort avoid disclosing I was Autistic to other people and would suppress this as much as possible in workplaces, services and events. My own assessment report listed me as having multiple deficits, such as lacking emotions, social skills, in addition to not being able to understand and have empathy for other people. I had accumulated shame during my childhood from the moments I was mocked or shunned for naturally stimming or expressing excitement over something which provided me joy.

I have since been able to release the shame I previously carried about myself and unlearned those statements that I was taught to be true. Learning from and connecting to other Autistic people has been immeasurable in helping me to understand and embrace who I am. I now know I do feel emotions, have social skills and feel empathy, but how I express these might not be through conventional ways. This is a good thing as our world needs a diversity of human minds, otherwise we would become stagnant.

In addition to the shame and internalised ableism that some Autistics might feel, there will be those who might are neutral about their Autistic identity, which is also absolutely valid. To be Autistic is not good or bad, a super ability or a tragedy, it literally just is. It is the essence of who we are.

Autistic Pride day celebrates ourselves and our community, and hopefully one day we will be able to appreciate and cherish Autistic people every single day. There is still much work to do in order to ensure Autistic people of all groups are celebrated and valued, as currently there are not enough platforms given to non-speaking Autistic people, trans Autistics and Autistic people from ethnic minority groups. Pride is about recognising all Autistic people have a right to exist as we are and to live freely without discrimination, stigma and abuse.

We are not broken and there was never anything wrong or that needed to be fixed with us. Pride is a reminder that our authentic selves are worthy of love and acceptance.